Capricorn
Dai în judecată McDonalds pe motiv că ţi-au stricat postul după ce descoperi, post ingerare, că Big Macul conţine carne.
Varsător
Legăturile cu persoana iubită încep să lase semne. Poate ar fi cazul să folosiţi mai puţin cătuşe şi mai mult funie sau cordelină.
Berbec
Îţi găseşti piercing-ul norocos pierdut acum 2 ani. E bună şi autopsia animalelor de casă la ceva.
Peşti
Vei cauza o bătaie colectivă cu scaune într-un local după ce barmanul îţi aduce lime în loc de lămâie.
Gemeni
Eşti dat afară de la un curs de relaxare feng-shui după ce, la prima şedinţă, îţi sună telefonul cu ringtone-ul “Dallas”.
Taur
Ajungi la concluzia că viaţa trebuie trăită la maximum. Prin urmare, săptămâna asta bei doar bere cu alcool.
Rac
După câteva zeci de brain-storminguri, blogul tău dedicat artei sexului oral se va numi www.blogjob.eu
Leu
Din dorinţa perpetuă de auto-perfectionare, faci o comandă de cărţi de pe internet. Dintr-o eroare de transport, primeşti 6 exemplare din „Creşterea nutriilor pentru începători”.
Fecioară
Ai parte de recunoaştere când eşti solicitat ca şi consultant. Normal, 6 ani de combatere a halenei nu puteau să treacă nerăsplătiţi.
Balanţă
Vei suferi o pierdere severă de memorie începând de mâine. Aşadar, ne permitem să-ţi spunem astăzi că astrele te consideră o persoană dezgustătoare.
Scorpion
Din cauza unui virus, astrele ne-au trimis un spam albanez în locul horoscopului tău: “penis Blej pilula zgjerimit online lirë. Vizitoni dyqan i madh në internet dhe përshtypje të dashurën tuaj me dy inç në plus e-mish njeriu!”
Săgetător
Pentru a treia oară consecutiv, eşti votat angajatul lunii. Cu prilejul ăsta ţi se permite să dansezi afară din cuşcă pentru o seară.
Tags: astre, astrograma, astrologie, etc, Horoscop, Urania, zodiacal, zodii
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