Capricorn
Ţi se îndeplineşte visul de a nu mai trebui să munceşti niciodată. Chiar dacă e cu preţul pierderii membrelor inferioare.
Varsător
E timpul să returnezi o sumă de bani unor prieteni. Dar atenţie: Vanea, Bohomir şi Evgheni mai sunt prieteni cu tine doar vreo 3 zile.
Berbec
Pentru câteva momente, te vei simţi mai aproape de Dumnezeu. Unii o vor numi moarte clinică dar hei, cine sunt ei să comenteze?
Peşti
După ani de aşteptări, ţi se propune în sfârşit o mărire. Din păcate, de penis.
Taur
Câţiva oameni vor ajunge la concluzia că ai măsurile perfecte. Cine spunea că fabricanţii de coşciuge nu sunt esteţi?
Gemeni
Te vei simţi matur când partenerul de cuplu îţi descoperă primul fir de păr alb. Te vei simţi decrepit când vei afla că e vorba despre un fir de păr pubian.
Rac
Devii o persoană armonioasă când descoperi că ai un număr par de negi, dacă îl socoteşti şi pe cel recent descoperit pe buca stângă.
Leu
Vei fi mai aproape de persoana pe care o îndrăgeşti. E vorba de 50 de metri, atât cât îţi permite ordinul judecătoresc.
Fecioară
Dieta severă pe care o respecţi cu sfinţenie începe să dea rezultate. Îţi consumi în întregime degetele de la piciorul stâng, în somn.
Balanţă
Reuşeşti să te laşi de fumat în fiecare noapte. Problema este că în fiecare dimineaţă te apuci din nou.
Scorpion
Mii de poze cu chipul tău vor împânzi oraşul. După ce, sub influenţa stupefiantelor, iei ostatic un agent de asigurări şi îl obligi să facă şpagatul pe cărbuni încinşi.
Săgetător
Ţii primul tău discurs în faţa tuturor colegilor. Normal, cineva trebuia să le explice de ce, de la o vreme, cafeaua are gust de urină.
Tags: astre, astrologie, Horoscop, zodiacal, zodii
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